Wednesday, 20 November 2013
It's true that if we don't know who we are in life, we'll never know how to effectively act, behave or build healthy relationships.
The root cause of so many of the negative emotions we face in life is in our attempts to be accepted, liked and loved by others when we haven't yet paid that very compliment to ourselves.
As we journey through life we can wear a number of different masks, of who we become when associating with differing types of people. The problems come though, when if these masks that we wear come at the cost of other people being able to fully know WHO we are in order to be ABLE to fully accept us.
If we haven't yet grown to understand and accept who we are as individuals, how could we ever be able to expect others to do so?
In this Vlog, I have attempted to share the extent of the problems that can arise from not knowing how to accept who you are. I share a true story about a girl who had suffered with anxiety and low confidence for years before coming to this revelation.
This revelation has radically changed everything about my life, it has also radically changed the thinking patterns of the girls I've just mentioned.
It's my hope in that sharing this video, you will come to this revelation too.
Permission Granted: Just be Yourself
I have yet to attend a networking event or random introduction where I've encountered anyone, upon the initial exchanging of pleasantries, to share openly, about who they actually are, opposed to what it is that they do in life.
I'm taking for granted here that one of our primary goals in life is to be liked, loved and ultimately fully accepted by others (unconditionally).
I wonder what would happen if we were to exchange our cultural norm of defining ourselves to others by disclosing 'the things that we do', with simply defining ourselves to others by disclosing 'who we actually are'?
If this was to become a new cultural habit, would this mean that in turn, people would become more congruent and effective in their relationships and throughout the other most important areas of our lives?
There's 1,000,001 definitions of success available to us in offline and online, however I wonder that if we were to learn how to clearly define who it is that we are as Human Beings, opposed to building our personal standards upon the things that we do as Human Doings, would this leave people available to live more confident and stress free lives?
Please leave me your thoughts and ides's on this one guys ;)
Human beings are without a shadow of a doubt the greatest invention in the world, however, they do seem to be one of the most undervalued and unrecognised pieces of creative brilliance in the entire history of time as we know it.
Through the duration of my limited time here on Planet Earth having had travelled the world with the good fortune to experience and understand a wide range of the differing and contrasting global cultures, I have grown to recognise ONE universal trend:
And this trend is that BIG people, live BIGGER, bolder, more confident and effective lives.
BIG people lead, BIG people initiate, BIG people are more popular, they have wider social circles and generally live BIGGER and more exciting lives.
BIG people take greater risks, the achieve greater things, they think BIGGER thoughts and have greater hopes and dreams for life than what small people do.
BIG people are more generous people, they are more loving people, they are more reliable people and are more compassionate people. BIG people are generally less consumed within themselves and are more commonly a pleasure to be around.
Smaller people will often feel threatened and intimidated by BIG people, however, they secretly wish that they were actually more like them and they knew how to boost self confidence, confidence, boldness and self esteem.
People who experience many of the greatest difficulties in life are often motivated and driven by building BIG things on the outside of themselves such as bank balances, stockpiles of material possessions, businesses and organisations and their own ranks, social statuses and reputations.
When people on their journey through life learn how to become BIGGER on the inside, BIGGER in their thinking, BIGGER in their believing, BIGGER in their expectations and BIGGER in their overall being; the outside world will begin to feel smaller, less intimidating, more manageable and more easily and effectively influenced.
Being BIGGER benefits everyone and today it can begin on the inside of YOU.
How much BIGGER could YOU be??
WARNING: THIS VLOG MAY BE HIGHLY THOUGHT PROVOKING
Today I've tried to discuss the 'idea' behind people's worshipping habits of the ancient gods, and in similarity, peoples worshipping habits in the 21st century.
Worshipping isn't necessarily a religious term, but can be applied to the things in life that we simply devote ourselves, our time and our energies to.
In humanities quest for meaning and purpose, significance and security, throughout the ages people from all walks of life and nationalities have made sacrifices to wooden idols, golden calfs, larger bank accounts and demanding bosses at the cost of loving relationships, healthy self esteem and our own mental and emotional wellbeing.
Although I discuss the ancient Greek gods of years gone by, I've tried to paint a picture of the more modern gods that people commit their lives to serving today.
If you are unable to identify whats coming first in your life, you may never be able to understand the root of the insecurities, self doubts, low confidences and self esteems that so many of us experience as we journey though life.
We're all bombarded with 1,000,001 thoughts each day - and for many of us, the greatest percentage of these are negative and very highly self-destructive.
In today's Vlog I've tried to discuss how 'unfortunately', there is no way to prevent these negative thoughts: however, there is a way how to understand them and also a very effective way to manage them!
Millions of people all around the world are looking for practical answers on ways of which to overcome low self esteem, increase confidence, how to boost self confidence, how to stop negative thoughts and think more positively.
As we've all heard the saying 'a thought just came into my head' ... this is crucial in growing to realise that all thoughts DO come into our heads and were NOT there before we began thinking about them.
In the same way that we have no control as to whether we even wake up tomorrow morning, we have no control over the thoughts that come into our heads - however, we DO have 100% complete control over the thoughts we choose to focus on and the thoughts that we choose to reject.
Learning to become more aware of our thoughts on a momentary basis is the first radical step towards becoming more self aware, and ultimately becoming able to choose which thoughts we pay homage to and invest our time into.
Just because we have thoughts is no indication that there is any substance to them whatsoever. If we choose to focus on negative thoughts, we will feel bad, and if we choose to focus on the good ones, we feel good - there is no such thing as bad thoughts, it is just the way about these thoughts that are either good or bad.
So if we can learn to police our thoughts more effectively by becoming aware of what we're thinking more regularly, we can radically alter the way that we feel on a regular basis - and if we can change how we feel, we will be able to make more well informed and mature decisions which in turn will determine the outcomes of our lives.
So ... to ultimately be able to change the outcomes in our lives which we will often have so many negative thoughts about, we must first learn to self-govern and MANAGE our thoughts before we could ever expect to change the way that we feel, our behaviours and actions, and ultimately the outcomes of our lives.
The root cause behind many of the insecurities and negative emotions that people experience in life are often due the lack of confidence and certainty that people have in who they are.
In the same way that I did for a number of years, many people go through life simply wishing their time away. Either wishing they were someone else, wishing they were something else, wishing they were somewhere else and wishing they had somebody else's life.
It's easy to think that who we are isn't important or of value to anyone or anything else in the world and that we don't have an impact. It's also easy to say "I'm too small" or think that what you say and do with your life doesn't matter.
But it does - you just haven't figured out HOW yet!
In today's Vlog, I've attempted to tell a story about how easy it is to envy the lives of others, the possessions of others and the fame and fortune of others whilst completely failing to realise how if we were commit to simply being who we innately know ourselves to be, we all have the unique capacity to change the world and make a difference in some way.
We are all faced with different and unique opportunities in life every single day, however most fail to recognise them due to the fact that they often coming disguised as problems and the other reason being that we're often too busy looking for a better life and far greener grass on the other side of the fence.
When we're too busy looking at the greener grass in everyone else's gardens it's easy to fail to recognise the green grass in our own back yards.
Our Life's Purpose is something that most people throughout the ages have sought to discover but only few have even grown to understand or be able to define, so in this Vlog I've tried to share the first few significant steps you can take towards not just finding your purpose for living, but for completely transforming your life.
Learning who you are is the most important step towards finding your life purpose. Tour life purpose is what you are here to achieve by simply being true to who you know yourself to be. One you know who you are (and I'll continue to post new video's in order to help you understand this), you simply need to identify your element.
But being in your element is more than doing what you're good at. Many people are good at things they're not passionate about at all! To be in your element you've got to naturally love what you do and also be naturally good at doing it.
Finding your element in life is vital to fully understanding who you are and what you're capable of being and doing with your life, this provides you your purpose.
Human resources are like natural resources: they're often buried beneath the surface and you have to make an effort to find them. On the whole, we do a poor job of that in our schools, businesses and communities and governments pay a huge price for that failure.
I'm not suggesting here that if everyone find's their element all of our social and relational problems will disappear, however it would certainly make a difference.
Being in your element and finding your life's purpose is not only about what you do for a living but is is fundamentally about enhancing the balance of your life as a whole.
When you understand your purpose in life you become able to overcome anxiety, depression and the other debilitating negative emotions we can experience throughout our lives, as well as being able to enhance and transform our relationships by growing to become the very best that be are able to be.
If you are not growing and developing in life you are going backwards and dying, which makes the road of finding your purpose in life not just and exciting one, but absolutely crucial.
I hope that this makes a difference in your life, it definitely made a difference in mine!